Authentic Accountability: Truth or Harmony

By: Exclusivia Team

Most people have a negative association with accountability. Someone holding us accountable feels like: Someone watching us, monitoring us, and “catching” our mistakes and shortcomings. However real accountability is not a “gotcha” mentality.

Instead it means, “You matter in my sight”. You are valuable in my sight. You matter to me. You matter to our group. I care about you, your well-being, and your best self.

Most parents understand will understand this analogy with their children. Good parents don’t discipline or tell their children “No” simply because. They do so because they are trying to protect their children from danger or correct a behavior in the child that will inhibit the child from being their best. Perhaps though where most parents fall short, is in explaining the true purpose of their accountability to the child. If the child understands that they are being held accountable because the parent loves them, cares for them, and wants the best for them, it changes the reception and response of the child.

We must bring this type of clarity around accountability to the rest of our personal and professional relationships. The understanding that we are cared for and matter, brings a totally different mindset to how accountability is received.

Basketball Coach Thomas Desotell, used to always ask his players, “Do you want Truth or Harmony?” He was implying with “Harmony” that if they want to ignore problems and mistakes it would be easy for everyone to ignore accountability and pretend that everything was great. Accepting mediocrity.
But in asking this question, Truth, gave permission for true accountability, sometimes even criticism. But this was all done, in the manner that “I care for you, I care for the well being of the team, and I want us all to the be the best version of ourselves.”

*This article was written by the Exclusivia, inspired by the teachings of Father Alex Steinmiller and Coach Thomas Desotell.