Our Core Needs for Happiness

By: Bradley Binversie

I had my eyes opened in relationship to happiness and joy.

I have been member of a men’s group that meets weekly. I joined the group when I was 29 years old and most of the gentlemen were in their 70’s. I am beyond grateful to them for welcoming me. Their experiences and wisdom continue to shape my perspective in ways that I could never imagine.

In today’s discussion on happiness, Terry Wardle’s work surfaced in which he identifies 6 basic human needs:
1. Purpose
2. Belonging
3. Safety
4. Love
5. Significance
6. Understanding

These core needs are things that we seek in our everyday lives that drive our motivations and decision making. Yet, it is a bit complex. ALL of these items we do not have direct control over in relation to society or even the people directly in our lives. Also ALL these items are circumstantial and can change in an earthly sense.

1.Purpose-Perhaps our purpose came from work or family. What if those were taken away?
2. Belonging-What about those born into difficult family circumstances? Outsiders?
3. Safety- Are we all born into situations where we feel safe? Some are not.
4. Love- Can you directly control who loves you and how you’re loved?
5. Significance- What makes you significant to society? Money? Status? Power? These are fleeting.
6. Understanding- Can we control how others perceive us?

So if we have little to no control over the outside world or people around us how can we seek the things we need?

The priest in our group, shared an incredibly powerful idea that has changed my perspective. We need these 6 core components but WHERE WE SEEK THEM will give us the happiness and peace we desire. If we seek them just from people or the world around us, we will most likely be disappointed and unfulfilled at times. Instead he suggested we should not seek them externally but internally through our faith.

1. Purpose- Do I have purpose for God?
2. Belonging- Do I belong to God?
3. Safety- Am I safe with God?
4. Love- Am I loved by God?
5. Significance- Am I significant in God’s eyes?
6. Understanding- Does God understand me?

Some of us may be blessed to receive all of these items from the people in your lives, but there are many who will not. People will change, circumstances will change, and it will be outside of our control. However if we seek these items from the right source, they will be unwavering. This is how I am choosing to think about it.