Triangle of Deep Relationships

By: Bradley Binversie

The Triangle of Deep Relationships
The deepest relationships have a Triangle structure to them. At two points of the triangle, you will find two people. Most likely these two people like each other and care about each other. But that alone is not enough to build and deepen the bonds between them. What every meaningful relationship must have, is a “Transcendental 3rd”.
This means that there is a deep love of something that is shared by the two people.
“Love of God”
“Love of Country”
“Love of an Idea or Purpose”
“Love of an Activity (sport)”
“Love of Their Family”

Transcendental means it’s beyond the physical, it’s a shared idea, cause, feeling, something that is bigger than just the people in the relationship. The transcendental 3rd must be deeply meaningful to both people. Without this shared meaning, the relationship usually does not go beyond the surface and will have trouble withstanding difficulty.

Husbands and wives who actively practice their faith together, are significantly less likely to divorce. This is because their relationship is more than just two people, it includes “God” as their transcendental 3rd.

Shared suffering or hardship can be a transcendental 3rd. Soldiers who serve together are another great example. They build deep bonds over sacrifice, love of country, and through the hardship they endure together. Teammates in sports could be another example of this same situation, sacrificing for each other physically with a shared vision.

Ideas and causes can also a transcendental 3rd. If two people believe deeply in the same cause it ties them together and deepens their relationship. Whether the cause is right or wrong, people can be united in it. Charitable giving, Climate Change, Communism, are all examples of causes that have united people.

*Based on the ideas and writings of Aristotle, St. Thomas Aquinas, and the Catholic Bishop Barron.